Game looks good, especially the graphics, the english could be better but for me, the trailer lets it down! Parts of the screen are cut off, you allow no time to read although you show lots of text, the same clips appear to be shown again and again ... The video lets it down for me.
You made this trailer using an iMovie trailer template didn't you?
While it can make some pretty good and goofy things for home movies and such, in this case it doesn't work because like beefy_clyro said, things move too quickly.
Your trailer would be more professional if you used just those pre-made titles from iMovie, but decided on the clip lengths yourself.
Yeah, the first thing I would do is get rid of the spinning globe. It screams "I used the imovie template" and its so overused now by other developers (not you) who spent more time on their imovie than they did on their game, which makes me doubt the game (again, this is in general, not your case).
Like said above, the scenes move too quickly, and you often repeat the same images. As a potential game buyer, this tells me the game is too short, so you had to reuse images even for a short trailer. This will make people pass on your game. What I would do instead is lengthen the text scenes so that viewers can read the text in full, and then show a sequence of maybe three rooms. In FMG Manor game each room had several possible clickable (moveable) items that were wrong choices at the time. Why not focus on just a couple of rooms and show them all the puzzle pieces that can be found in a single room. This way, they will be excited to see what comes next, rather than assuming they saw the entire game in a 30 sec trailer. Also, you should have someone who is a native english speaker here at GS fix the English text for you. It has some errors that makes it sound odd, and its apparent its written by someone who doesn't normally speak english.
As said before, GREAT graphics. Don't let a flimsy trailer and slightly off English derail that. I wouldn't rant like this if I didn't like where your game was going! Sincerely hoping your game does well!
That's a pretty spot-on critique by TheHoogler. The game looks very well-made (and not a rip-off of Secrets of Grisly Manor!). I hope it's successful for you.
Now when I see the trailer, I am led to believe this may be a huge game, since you showed many scenes without repeating. That makes it worth the purchase price.
I think the music thematically matches the trailer pretty well (more below)
2) Improvements
Your iphone shots are being clipped (like said above). You'll need to fix it, since it gives the perception that you didn't care enough to fix it (and if you don't care, is the game the same way?)
The music is good. I'm guessing its something you haven't written, thus you wouldn't be able to recompose it to be longer. I would start cutting scenes from your trailer so that the length of the trailer matches the music perfectly. Nothing motivates people to buy more than an excellent juxtaposition of visual and audible themes (just think epic movie trailers).
I really think its getting there. Starting to look really good!
RUPAS
Member Posts: 823
Comments
While it can make some pretty good and goofy things for home movies and such, in this case it doesn't work because like beefy_clyro said, things move too quickly.
Your trailer would be more professional if you used just those pre-made titles from iMovie, but decided on the clip lengths yourself.
Like said above, the scenes move too quickly, and you often repeat the same images. As a potential game buyer, this tells me the game is too short, so you had to reuse images even for a short trailer. This will make people pass on your game. What I would do instead is lengthen the text scenes so that viewers can read the text in full, and then show a sequence of maybe three rooms. In FMG Manor game each room had several possible clickable (moveable) items that were wrong choices at the time. Why not focus on just a couple of rooms and show them all the puzzle pieces that can be found in a single room. This way, they will be excited to see what comes next, rather than assuming they saw the entire game in a 30 sec trailer. Also, you should have someone who is a native english speaker here at GS fix the English text for you. It has some errors that makes it sound odd, and its apparent its written by someone who doesn't normally speak english.
As said before, GREAT graphics. Don't let a flimsy trailer and slightly off English derail that. I wouldn't rant like this if I didn't like where your game was going! Sincerely hoping your game does well!
- Jeff
1) The music doesn't match the length of the trailer. It starts a little late and ends way early.
2) The in-game graphics are cut-off so that things like the text and inventory bar are cut-off in the trailer.
- Jeff
1) The things you did right
Now when I see the trailer, I am led to believe this may be a huge game, since you showed many scenes without repeating. That makes it worth the purchase price.
I think the music thematically matches the trailer pretty well (more below)
2) Improvements
Your iphone shots are being clipped (like said above). You'll need to fix it, since it gives the perception that you didn't care enough to fix it (and if you don't care, is the game the same way?)
The music is good. I'm guessing its something you haven't written, thus you wouldn't be able to recompose it to be longer. I would start cutting scenes from your trailer so that the length of the trailer matches the music perfectly. Nothing motivates people to buy more than an excellent juxtaposition of visual and audible themes (just think epic movie trailers).
I really think its getting there. Starting to look really good!